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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Kitchen Sink drama

Now anyone who knows me knows that I do things with panache and style, Oh yes! No contented to let my relatively quiet birthday pass by, had to end up in hospital at 8am on the morning of us departing for Prague. I got the girls up as usual and was hollering to Ryan that this was no ordinary morning and to shift his arse into gear. My daughters usual fussiness when in came to breakfast egged me to decide to cut the bagguettes into sticks that I would toast and they would eat in a novel way. As I was slicing the bread over the kitchen sink (to catch the crumbs) The big fuck off sized psycho knife I was using caught a hard bit in the bread and I inched a bit of forced and hey presto blood everywhere! I looked at it and I knew instinctively that this was a hospital jobby. I had a little cry, Im not ashamed to say it - it was on the arch of skin between the thumb and forefinger and it was deep and I cried like a caught grass with don.. Ambulance came, went to A&E where I waited for about half and hour in the company of some mad bloke who was looking for someone to give him money for the coke machine and anyone who didn't where called a bunch of bastards. So there I was hand draped in blood soaked (no exaggeration) towel in my black nightie and wrap and he asks me 'scuse me honey have you got 2 quid for a coke' to which he got a reply 'Do I look like Im carrying money mate? And don't even think of calling me a bastard, infact don't speak to me or look in my direction right?!' I Was s in no mood for him so he went 'whew sorry I asked ' then proceeded to ask the same question to some guy with a northern Ireland accent , got no reply and called him a protestant bastard, to which he was then rebuffed with 'Ill put you in intensive care if you don't shut the fuck up'..

I told the nurses about my imminent departure and they kindly upped me on the cue. An hour later I was at home with 5 stiches and a host of dressings and antibiotics. So I half arsed packed and we headed to the airport leaving behind some essentials like decent footwear and warm clothes.. What was I thinking?

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