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Thursday, March 27, 2008

Irish History X

Around the day after St Patricks Day I read an article about some English kid who got a finger severed off by a gang of anti English Irish youths in a scene which mirrored that in American history X. As soon as I read this I was quite confident the 17 year old in question was lying through his teeth. The following articles are the Irish Independants reports on the before and after stories..

Gardai cast doubt on Victims Story
HE made headlines when he claimed he lost his finger in a vicious attack by a gang of youths on St Patrick's Day because he was British.

But gardai said yesterday they were "happy" that the horrific injuries suffered by young pianist Guy Wallace were not caused by an assault and they want to re-interview him.

Mr Wallace (17) claimed the gang went ahead with the dismemberment, despite his desperate pleas for mercy.

During a shocking radio interview, the schoolboy, who is the son of a Conservative councillor in Somerset, said he begged the gang to leave him alone and even offered them money.

Ignoring his desperate cries, he said they put his finger at the edge of a kerb and jumped on it to sever it from his hand.

Despite an extensive search, his finger has not been found.

Last night, gardai said they were "surprised" at his account of an attack, which he had not mentioned during an interview with detectives in hospital.

A spokesperson said detectives were "happy" that Mr Wallace's horrific injury was not caused by an assault.

Gardai are seeking to re-interview Mr Wallace.

They said he had not suggested a racist motivation for the attack and had had no memory of being set upon by a gang.

Gardai are aware that he had been drinking in Temple Bar before going to McDonald's, on O'Connell Street, where he was involved in a minor altercation.

After that, there is CCTV footage of him running down O'Connell Street.

Members of the gardai later came upon him on Cumberland Street, holding his bloodstained hand.

Sources said that detectives are looking at the possibility that the schoolboy may have fallen.

They have interviewed witnesses who were at McDonald's and said it did not appear that Mr Wallace had suffered a serious assault there.


There were reports that someone may have tried to headbutt him in the fast food restaurant and he may have received a "slap" before running off.

In a radio interview yesterday morning, Mr Wallace claimed his finger was ripped off during an horrific attack.

He said he had became separated from his friends on O'Connell Street around 8pm on Monday night.

He claimed he met a gang that became aggressive after he said he was English and inflicted the horrific injury.

Mr Wallace, who is studying for his A-levels, made a hasty retreat from the city yesterday for a speciality hospital in Plymouth, where he received further surgery.

He arrived at Dublin Airport with his injured hand in a bandage at around 10.30am yesterday. He shielded his face from cameras as he spoke to his father, William, on the phone, before boarding a Ryanair flight to Bristol.

His father said he bore no grudges towards Irish people or Dublin and said it "could have happened anywhere".

William Wallace said his son had been a pianist for a long time and considered it a major hobby, although he was not contemplating a professional career.

"He's okay, but we're trying to get him to hospital to be treated properly," he said, following his son's arrival.

"Guy will get further treatment here but his finger has still not been found.

"This hasn't changed my opinion of Dublin and I love Ireland and the Irish."

His son also said he did not bear any grudge towards Ireland.

"It was a group of thugs not representative of everyone," he said. "I walked past a group of about five young men and they asked me where I was from.

"I said England and they got very aggressive. I was begging, I offered money and asked them not to hurt me. The next thing I knew I was on the floor.

"Then all I remember is pain in my eye and excruciating pain in my hand.

"My guess is they put my finger over a kerb and stamped on it. The surgeons at the hospital said it looked like a bite mark but I don't believe that."

But the young English boy, who plays rugby, said it has not changed his view of Ireland.

He said he believes his ability to play rugby and the piano could be affected but remained optimistic about the future.

"I play second row," he said. "I suppose catching the ball and passing might be affected."

"I have been doing research into bionic fingers so maybe I'll be able to get surgery."

OH HO HO HO HO HO Do I hear a Lee Major Wah wah Peddle??
(We Have the Shamrocks To Rebuild Him)

Severed Finger Found

A young man's claim that his finger was torn off during a vicious racist attack on St Patrick's Day has been dramatically disproved.

English tourist Guy Wallace's bloodied finger was found on top of a serrated railing in Dublin's city centre yesterday.

Eyewitnesses said the finger looked like a "burnt sausage" when it was removed from a steel fence surrounding an office car park.

Gardai made the gruesome discovery around 11.30am on Britain Place after CCTV footage showed the schoolboy trying to climb the jagged barrier.

The little finger from his right hand lay hidden for nine days in a gap on a steel bar that runs through the fence, and is impossible to see unless you stand back on the road.

It was positioned a few inches from sharp prods at the top of the eight-foot railing outside the Eircom building, which fronts onto Marlborough Street.

Sniffer dog

The finger's position at the top of the fence meant it had evaded sniffer dogs that had scoured the area for days.

Mr Wallace (17) claimed last week that he was attacked by a gang who callously ignored his desperate pleas for mercy.

He said the men had become aggressive after he told them he was English.

Despite attempts to offer them money, he said they ripped off his finger by placing it on a kerb and jumping on it.

He has since had surgery at a hospital in Plymouth but a re-attachment was impossible as his finger could not be found.

Last night, Guy's father William Wallace, a Conservative Party councillor in Somerset, and his mother, Lucy, insisted that their son had genuinely believed he lost his finger in an assault.


"On the night of March 17, Guy had split up from his friends, he was lost and very frightened after suffering an assault in a fast food restaurant where he received a headbutt," they said in a statement.

"Due to this assault, he was sufficiently traumatised to link the event with the terrible accident that took place minutes later and genuinely believed that he had lost his finger in that assault.

"However, in reality it seems that during his panic-stricken run from the incident he attempted to climb a metal fence, which resulted in the loss of his finger.

"All we want to do now is concentrate on Guy's recovery from this terrible ordeal."

A senior member of the security staff at Eircom House said its 800 staff were terrified that a bomb had been found in the building after gardai began to comb the area yesterday.

Billy Nagle said he rushed outside and saw gardai remove the finger in a glass container.

"From a distance, it looked like a burnt sausage and was shrivelled up," said Mr Nagle, facilities manager at Eircom House.

"That finger has been out there for over six days up high on a railing where he was trying to get in. It slipped down off the railings and got caught in a bar near the top."

He did not believe gardai would have found the finger if they had not searched the CCTV footage.

"There were sniffer dogs here nearly two weeks ago and a female garda looked at the footage before last weekend but she searched the wrong part of the railing."

It is understood that there was "panic" during the afternoon after gardai discovered that the CCTV recordings are automatically wiped every few days and they only had hours to transfer it.

Detectives said Guy was drinking in Temple Bar before he was involved in a minor altercation at McDonald's on O'Connell Street around 8pm.

CCTV footage picked him up running down O'Connell Street before gardai came upon him holding his bloodied hand on North Cumberland Street.

Gardai arrested a youth (17) last Wednesday who was later released without charge and a file was sent to the DPP.

"Gardai investigating the alleged serious assault are now satisfied that the injured party lost part of his finger while attempting to scale a fence in a laneway off Parnell Street, Dublin," said a spokesperson yesterday.

"Investigations are continuing regarding a minor assault which took place earlier in the O'Connell Street area."

I hope this shameful story follows this kid for the best part of his formative years and his parents ground him until hes 30. We in ireland would have had no problem in supplying him with a new finger - granted it would have been a middle one.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Laughing at a funeral

My Brother sent me this the other day, I thought it was really funny because the whole mentality of irish teachers and its classroom was spot on. If youre easily offended dont watch it and certainly dont have the kids around either.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Minghella Memory

If you can ignore the alan rickman stalker in the making/fanvid and listen to Bach's - Cello Suite No. 5 in C Minor Im sure something will stir in the well of the soul, Minghellas movie 'Truly Madly Deeply' was my first real introduction to JS Bach allegros and sonatas and I have him to thank for. It is also a personal favorite of mine in the long list of movies that I love. To be honest its pisses all over 'Ghost' but then again most movies do. Mr Minghella - Thank You.

Unearthly Child

Excuse my geekiness but on April 5th Doctor Who returns for season 4. April seems to be my geek freak out with new Battlestar Galactica , Heroes, My name is Earl , & Reaper commencing once more after the writers strike. Its going to be shameful the amount of time the idiot box will have possession of my soul!

Monday, March 17, 2008


When I read my children their stories at bed time there is that lull before the sandman eventually calls and hopefully cements their eyelids shut until the next morning. In that hinterland of time I take to reading my own stories and books, the latest one is (although Ive had it for about 10 years) Lifelines. Between 1985 and 1992, under the direction of Niall McMonagle, a teacher of English, a small group of fifth formers at Wesley College, Dublin, wrote to famous people asking them to name their favourite poem, giving the reasons why. Those who replied had their letter and chosen poem published in booklet form by the students and the proceeds were given to sick and dying children in Africa which is always a most noble and worthy cause.In their letters to the teenagers, 223 famous people, including Carol Ann Duffy, John Gielgud, Maeve Binchy, Richard Branson, Mother Teresa, Jeffrey Archer, Raymond Carver, Paul Durcan, Glenda Jackson, Cyril Cusack, give honest, intimate, humourous, profound, but always revealing insights into themselves as they describe the reasons for their choice. Old favourites are dusted down and refreshed for us through their eyes. Poems once toiled over in school are seen in a new light

Ive been on a diet of fiction and non fiction for a while and it was a wonderful reunion to see my favourites and discover some new ones.When I read poetry in school, especially Yeats something changed inside me that stayed changed forever. To read Yeats or indeed any poetry, we must observe, measure, and judge the people and the properties of that particular universe. The interpratation of any poem is highly personal and is when the imagination, feeling, language and inspiration intersect in the mind, soul and heart of a talent. Sometimes we look to it for self definition, discovery, answers, consolation,humour, education, the list is endless as is their many worlds.
At the moment my favourite poem is No second troy by Yeats( on my playlist there is a song loosly based on this by sinead O connor ) A forgiving yet mournful tale of unrequited love Of Yeata and his muse Maude Gonne.

WHY should I blame her that she filled my days
With misery, or that she would of late
Have taught to ignorant men most violent ways,
Or hurled the little streets upon the great.
Had they but courage equal to desire?
What could have made her peaceful with a mind
That nobleness made simple as a fire,
With beauty like a tightened bow, a kind
That is not natural in an age like this,
Being high and solitary and most stern?
Why, what could she have done, being what she is?
Was there another Troy for her to burn?

If youre kind enough to leave a comment please include your own favourite poem and why.

St Patricks Legacy

What better way to celebrate St Patricks Day than an sitcom about irish priests?

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Dumb Guy

This little story below tells me that Romance is a dying ideal, Ok so the guy thought he was doing something memorable for his love and a great story to tell his unborn children one day. But what it really tells of is not his dumb / nervous flummoxed idea of a proposal but of the reaction of his 'fiancee' - what ever happened to I want to spend the rest of my days with you because of you and not a rock? Clearly the biggest loss is that of his retarded emotions to the materialist wench he bought it for..

LONDON (Reuters) - It is the one moment every man wants to get right -- and which London floor-fitter Lefkos Hajji could hardly have got more wrong.

The luckless 28 year-old's dreams of giving his sweetheart, Leanne, 26, the ultimate proposal have literally vanished into thin air.

Hajji, of Hackney, east London, had concealed a 6,000-pound engagement ring inside a helium balloon. The idea was that she would pop the balloon as he popped the question.

But as he left the shop, a gust of wind pulled the balloon from his hand and he watched the ring -- and quite possibly the affections of his girlfriend -- sailing away over the rooftops.

"I couldn't believe it," he told The Sun newspaper.

"I just watched as it went further and further into the air.

"I felt like such a plonker. It cost a fortune and I knew my girlfriend would kill me."

Hajji spent two hours in his car trying to chase and find the balloon, without success.

"I thought I would give Leanne a pin so I could literally pop the question," he said."But I had to tell her the story -- she went absolutely mad. Now she is refusing to speak to me until I get her a new ring."

He is hoping the ring will still turn up.

"It would be amazing if someone found it," he added.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Storm In A Teacup

So last Weekend Ireland and the UK where told to 'Batten down the hatches' as the 'storm of the century' was bubbling up in the Atlantic and on its way to beat the glue out of these Isles. Now I love a storm , I know people out there in the USA who are living in Tornado Alley and the Gulf area wouldn't share that point of view with me - but Im from a mild and humble little country where the rain falls soft on green fields where the brae of a donkey is uninterrupted by the staccato resonance of raindrops. Its such a novelty for us. As children we where told of the mythical and humorous notion that the thunder was really the itinerants trying to steal the gates of heaven.

I was only 16 when the hurricane of 1987 came to these shores, and the romance of the lightning and the powerful winds did not conjure up fear in me, it made me feel alive with all things great. Watching the veined hands of electricity trying to grasp the earth, feeling the wind scream through your hair and having an almost exfoliating effect on your skin. The geography and landscape switching to from day to night in seconds, Beautiful yet savage, not thinking once about its consequential dividends.

So I was very much hyped up for the upcoming storm, we took all the flowerpots in from the veranda, made sure all essentials where in and watched the rainfall and satellite forecasts on the meteor logical Ireland site. And we waited .... and we waited until about 1am I gave up my dream of being 16 again.

The saying popped into my head as I lay my head on the pillow in a pissed off spoiled childlike fashion -'there can be only 2 things in this world that is certain; Death and taxes'

*this vid contains two of my favorite things tom waits & crystal gayle's album 'this ones from the heart' and some classy looking lightening.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

You couldnt make this up

It seems to me that Im accumulating wounds by the second here, On mothers day I recieved a shiney eight inch bruise from a wheelbarrow handle under my left shoulder - I swear you cant make this shit up! I was out in my mothers house on sunday and after doing some painting with the girls , I went outside to dispose of the paper to the recycle bin, when a raised crack on the pavement sent me sailing into air and I crash landed onto a wheel barrow.

I will post the distressing photo up as soon as I can but it will carry a warning - until then I can forget cutting a rug like Tommy boy here