You couldnt make this up

It seems to me that Im accumulating wounds by the second here, On mothers day I recieved a shiney eight inch bruise from a wheelbarrow handle under my left shoulder - I swear you cant make this shit up! I was out in my mothers house on sunday and after doing some painting with the girls , I went outside to dispose of the paper to the recycle bin, when a raised crack on the pavement sent me sailing into air and I crash landed onto a wheel barrow.

I will post the distressing photo up as soon as I can but it will carry a warning - until then I can forget cutting a rug like Tommy boy here