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Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Twig of Destiny

In a previous post I mentioned what the term 'knacker' meant. Now this terminology is also applied to people in ireland who dont play fair, has bad personal hygene and also are more than a little bit poor. Growing up as a child in the 80s there was a distinct lack of money in country, unemployment was sky rocketing and good catholic numbers in families did not make the situation any better. Growing up was carefree in them days, the atari was a couple of years away thus most kids where out and about as often as possible. There was this one kid called 'Domo Kelly', ( Domo being abreviated for Dominic )but he also went by the name 'fizz bag' for some strange reason. Anyway he was for most part the 'kenny' from south park in my brothers group of friends. His mother and father drank alot and his house was run down with all manner of household junk in the front garden and mongrel, incessently barking dogs tied up with ropes in the back yard . All in all he was a nice lad though , a little tough but harmless.Quite often when the boys called to his house he would put his dinner into a plastic carrier bag , sans the plate, and bring it out and eat handfuls of mash and veg sitting about on walls, in other boys gardens etc He was in essence a knacker to the boys..

One day around this time of year, I remember coming home with the shopping with my mother and sister. There is a small grassy knoll directly across from my house with a couple young trees and a sign post. A couple of boys where trying to strip the reed like branches away from the young saplings. My mother yelled for them to stop what they where doing and she would tell their respective mothers. They apologised to my mother (especially since they where my brothers friends) and she went inside with the shopping. Wil, my older brother , who was about 13 at the time came out from a friends house a couple of doors away with 3 boys, one of which was Domo. My other brothers friends came running over with the broken branches and what looked like rope from a laundry line. They chatted away; it looked intense but gleeful negoiations where taking place..

In the flicker of an eye Domo was raised up on the shoulders by about six of the boys to the knoll and tied to the double poled road sign at the corner (the sign read : Caution children at play - the irony!)now to the naked eye you would be forgiven to think that poor old domo got the short straw in a game of 'Prisoner', but no, this was no game of adventure, of 'spies confession' etc it was far more theatrical than that. As he was carried the boys started to chant 'Crucify him , crucify him!' from the top of their lungs. They where indeed acting out The Crucifixtion of jesus.
From nowhere a white cotton pillow case more likely liberated from someones washing line was tucked into Domos jeans from the front to the back , some of the reed branches where fashioned into a crude crown of thorns and the rope used to secure Domo to the signpost. He seemed happy to play along with it until a torn cornflakes packet was also tied to the signpost with 'King of the knackers' scrawled onto it. Their attention to detail was amazing.
Two girls where rounded up and told to sit at his feet both arguing over who should be the pious mother of god and then it all got to much when they started to poke him in the side with a stick. I say stick but really it was a long twig. It may well have hurt as the kid was a little on the scrawny side. When they let him go Domo went immediately for 'Judas Iscariot', a small kid who went by the name of 'Salty' as his surname was pepper.
The horseplay turned serious because I imagine Domo really got involved in his role as JC or was pissed off at the ridicule either way it started a domino effect with all the disciples and a fight took place between them all. My younger brother alerted my mother and told her that, Wil, was 'kicking the head off Jesus'. It came to abrupt halt with my brother frog marched home with the twig of destiny still in his hands. As for Domo, hes a successful business man now but every year around this time I wonder if he still remembers how for one brief moment he was the salvation of mankind..


Pickled Olives said...

OMG!! This is one of those "kids will be kids" moments. When left alone for too long, they get crappy ideas. As a kid seeing this it obviously left an insane impression on you. What did your mom do? I don't know what I'd do as a mom called to help out there. Crap.

Hammer said...

I once went to a school where the teachers picked the worst kid and did that same thing to them.

I stayed away from knackers because they were always itching for a fist fight and they smelled of sour milk

General Catz said...

Oh god, another great "kids are dumb as shit" story. Read one yesterday over on someone else's blog. I have to say, tho, this one was very inventive. Thanks for the giggle.

Judith said...

I think the presence of any adult back in them days was enough to stop a fight as we were more fearful of parents back then. I remember it vividly though!
Sour Milk! *giggle* you olifactory memory serves you correctly if memory serves me right there where a few kids smelled of that alright too

Judith said...

I thought they were very imaginative, but now the call of the playstation and Xbox Im sure has quelled a lot of kids getting up to no good these days. They just cant be arsed going off on adventures..

Glamourpuss said...

Poor bastard - I'll bet he's shelled out thousands in therapy to exorcise that demon.


Stucco said...

"Fizz bag"? In my group the F would be pronounced as a J. I've been vulgar all along. I think my first spoken word was "dookie"...

A few days ago, my daughter working on her homework asked me for words that ended in "ism". I of course led with the "J" word, but didn't say it aloud. I then laughed to myself and said "antidisestablishmentarianism". I wonder what her teacher will think?

slaghammer said...

I always root for the underdog. I’m glad to hear the little knacker overcame his raising.

Judith said...

I know - poor bastard..
I think they where a year or two behind knowing when to drop the f for a j but 2 years later my brother aquired a friend with the surname bateson, his nickname was master.. I would have muttered the same to myself. Please tell me your little one went to the teacher with the latter *giggle*
I am too, he was a nice little knacker when all was said and done.

Judith said...

Puss FORGIVE ME it was the feline name similarity and its 12:50am in the morning here!

Crankster said...

That was fantastic! I'm glad they didn't wait all afternoon to let him down.

Judith said...

he was up there for about a good hour or more