Ringing in the changes ( of knickers)

New Year's resolutions - the conventional idea that serves to give us illusions of better health, lifestyle and psyche to lull us into the false premise that we will actually reap some dividend if we remain stoic with conviction.. I made some and intend to keep them and the mass echos me Im sure.. Some are cliched but all are necessary. first off my weight. I intend to loose double what I lost 4 years ago which has been hampered by finding a partner and being indulgent, then having 2 babies, I intend to sort this albatross thats been around my neck for all of my life and know that 2006 will be my life changing year. The second will be my money spinner book which will probably wrote under a nom de plume.. We shall see.. The festive period was huge nightmare, It involved basically having my house look like a bomb site for most of it, the tree wasnt put up until a day or two before christmas eve and we reclaimed our bedroom by moving into the forgetting room although it still doesnt stop luci from coming in and saying 'boppy mama' at half 3 in the morning but we havent been able to sort out the necessitys like bags upon bags of clothes (which will lead me to a tale in a moment) Ryan has some children from a previous relationship and he went to fetch them in england in all of the madness and thus ensured the escalation to new levels upon their arrival. Luci and Eibhe are in their element with their brother and sisters and having great fun (bless them they will be at such loose ends when they all leave tomorrow) and to top it off I had ryans mum, brother , pregnant wife, and three children on new years day for dinner - I have never cooked for 13 people in my life on my own especially when you have 2 vegetarians and a picky little brat, a horde of children running up and down stairs and blinded with sweat cooking now my place aint bijou but its not a fuckin aircraft hanger either how how I kept my reason and sanity was beyond me!! Anyway bless my morbid hindsight to buy halloween partyware cheaply in november because all the kids got their dinner on that I was not washing up 8 plates and 13 dessert bowls for man nor beast that day it was bad enough with the pots and the pans and cutlery never mind after the adults plates. They descended on me at 10am in the morning when I was in the middle of cooking pancakes for the clutch for breakfast and I was fucking wild with frustration already knowing that we all had slept in until 9 and they would arrive any moment.. the rest of the day was spent at the sink , changing bums and a inundated with requests for drinks, sweets and a tantrum from ryans niece because I had no crisps in the house at this stage anger was one letter short of danger.. My condenser drier was on the blink over the holidays and still is so a rather strange event happened - since my mum had half my drying and the other is somewhere in bags my underwear was in severe depletion and coming to work the other day I had to wear a pair of ryans boxers If I got hit by a car I would have been found with a pair of homer boxer shorts on me with 'just because I dont care doesnt mean I dont understand - woohoo!' Lovely... Mind you I did find them really comfortable - and I mean really comfortable - What the victorian women endured with corsettery was compensated in roomy undercarrige bloomers which I can only akin them to .. Safe to say Im back in the old regulation knickers again but you never know I could be wohooing it again with homer on a rainy comfy night !! Im so looking forward to getting the place back to normal and my girls back to the routines its all very well them giggling and having a ball but it comes at a price too -many times Ive been tearful having scolded them for being too hyper and in the evening they are not getting asleep until half ten and strangely I feel terrible for not being able to give them the attention they are used to but thats me as they dont want to know me as they are having too much fun waddling around. Last night ryan took the kids to see king kong and it was great to play 'caves' with a duvet on the floor with the girls which only involves the 3 of us sitting under the duvet and them smiling at me with 'isnt this great?' expressions on their faces when I whisper to the girls and they whisper back to me this continues until the air quality reaches new lows and have to come up for air incase we get the bends down under laughing. I felt like I havent slept properly for a month even now I feel my eyes heavy with sleep.. What I would give to just snuggle down in a layered bed with brushed cotton sheets, howling wind outside - small things eh?