Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens' .. Yeah right - heres my boiling point pissing off factors Maria - Take it to the Mother Superior and the Von Crapp Kids See if you guys can make up a bleedin song about these..
1 Fake smiles - I hate them and seem to be adourned by the skinny vain tea stained tanned bints who throw back there heads so their mouths look like bucket brims and as they bring back their heads to 'toss their hair' in full bounce flirt mode - in all my fucking life Ive never been given any genuine reason to laugh like that and Ive been around some funny people and listened to comic genius such as bill hicks - these people as my father would say (who is a comic genius in his own right) should be dragged out and publicly pissed on.
2. Public toilets - especially the befouled and unflushed variety- I can handle the vague smell of urine hanging in the air, the occasional wet bog roll on the tiled floor and no soap - but please dont piss on the floor, shit on the seat or smear the mixture giving the phone number of your enemies choice on the door infront of me and while Im at it Im not interested in whos a slut - whos got a small one and who loves who. Keep your vile faecal perversions to the confines of your putrid bedrooms please.
3. cars not indicating - this is the reason why I suffer road rage - Im telling you I will wind up in jail over these thoughtless bastards.
4 inanimate objects - everything from tv remote acting possessed , mops and sweeping brushes refusing to comply with resting in the corner, to the george foreman taking the piss and not doing what its supposed to do - working and plotting against you. These objects cultivate the rage of the common man.
5. Small minded people- Do I really need to devote any blog space to these ignorant hicks?
6. Being told to 'shush' - do it to me and Ill snap your neck like a cabbage stalk - you have been warned..
7 drunks with big yaps. I dont care what the booze made you say- if you said it- You'll pay for it when youre sober and have the gait of a rummy after you incur my wrath