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Monday, December 4, 2006

The Satanic Julie Andrews

I posted this last year in January , It made me laugh today , I think having read all the tags and meme's this is a sure fire way not to get memed. I must have been in a foul humour writing with the expletives but they remain here just to display the essence of my then bad mood.....

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens' .. Yeah right - heres my boiling point pissing off factors Maria - Take it to the Mother Superior and the Von Crapp Kids See if you guys can make up a bleedin song about these..

1 Fake smiles - I hate them and seem to be adourned by the skinny vain tea stained tanned bints who throw back there heads so their mouths look like bucket brims and as they bring back their heads to 'toss their hair' in full bounce flirt mode - in all my fucking life Ive never been given any genuine reason to laugh like that and Ive been around some funny people and listened to comic genius such as bill hicks - these people as my father would say (who is a comic genius in his own right) should be dragged out and publicly pissed on.

2. Public toilets - especially the befouled and unflushed variety- I can handle the vague smell of urine hanging in the air, the occasional wet bog roll on the tiled floor and no soap - but please dont piss on the floor, shit on the seat or smear the mixture giving the phone number of your enemies choice on the door infront of me and while Im at it Im not interested in whos a slut - whos got a small one and who loves who. Keep your vile faecal perversions to the confines of your putrid bedrooms please.

3. cars not indicating - this is the reason why I suffer road rage - Im telling you I will wind up in jail over these thoughtless bastards.

4 inanimate objects - everything from tv remote acting possessed , mops and sweeping brushes refusing to comply with resting in the corner, to the george foreman taking the piss and not doing what its supposed to do - working and plotting against you. These objects cultivate the rage of the common man.

5. Small minded people- Do I really need to devote any blog space to these ignorant hicks?

6. Being told to 'shush' - do it to me and Ill snap your neck like a cabbage stalk - you have been warned..

7 drunks with big yaps. I dont care what the booze made you say- if you said it- You'll pay for it when youre sober and have the gait of a rummy after you incur my wrath



Cornealius said...

hehehe - like this post alot...
I think im in love :)

Hammer said...

I tend to agree. Fake laughs are annoying as hell.

People who drive with a cell phone in their ear are another class of idiots. I would prefer they were drunk and paying attention.

Judith said...

Cornealius A man after my own heart I was particularly fiery that day LOL

Hammer over here its illegal to drive with a cellphone in your ear still does not stop the idiots who think theyre above the law. If they where drunk and paying attention they would probably drive better alright.

Stucco said...

Hi Judith, Shush! Okay, but don't actually shush though. I just like to provoke people and have an appreciation for violence.

Have you ever seen the Johnny Depp flick about HST, Fear and Loathing? I LOVE the scene where he has to deal with the Highway cop outside of Barstow.

General Catz said...

I'm with you on all these. but if you want to see truly horrible drivers, come to america. ireland's and the UK's drivers were generosity personified compared to US drivers.

slaghammer said...

I'm just going to go along with everything you said.

Judith said...

'Shush' Stares at stucco wide eyed Shush??!! LOL Must take a look at that scene again stucco

Ive never really drove in the states only as a passanger and the whole driving on the opposite side of the road thing threw me off slightly lol

Just as well ! LOL :)