Thursday, March 30, 2006
Lately I’ve been trawling the net to send some partially anonymous letters to my family the first victim was to my father who used to be a manager on the state owned ferry company here. Now to explain briefly there was a package of voluntary redundancies there and my dad was the last in the ‘don’t be a chump take the lump’ brigade, so basically I made up a company letterhead , stated in the letter that they found a private and confidential letter addressed to him and they had forwarded it on - I wrote it in the guise of his friend Joe who starts with an eloquent resignation letter and it progresses.. Well you can read the rest yourself ..Dear Johnny
After an appropriate period of deliberation, I have come to the decision to tender my resignation from Irish Ferries, effective November 10, 2003.
Please know that I still maintain a high level of respect for you as a manager and colleague, and I thank you sincerely for the support and assistance you have offered me in each of those roles. I have been proud to work for Irish Ferries over the past eight years; it has been a journey that has provided me an unparalleled foundation to move forward to new and exciting opportunities.
As such, I have decided to become a professional pirate. It has always been a dream of mine to live the life of a swashbuckling corsair, beholden to none and master of all I survey. Once my crew of unabashed rogues is assembled, we shall take to the capacious expanse of the high seas to pursue fortune, fame, and hair-raising adventure.
Our path may not be filled with the porcine comforts and technological marvels that Irish Ferries provides, but we shall nonetheless move forward to carve a name for ourselves in the annals of bold insurgency and death-defying derring-do. Once I have a keen blade at my hip and the Jolly Roger is flapping high above me, I believe I will find my true calling.
Please note that I am currently accepting applications for First Officer, if you are at all interested in applying. I will provide a full medical and dental plan, which will offer immediate coverage of all maladies other than scurvy and the occasional bout of rickets.
Unlike the Neil Kurtzman novel myself doing nothing has led to a veritable devils playground via the net and although only a clutch of my nearest know about my blog site here they will not escape for be afraid be very afraid ( Ostensibly, this is a warning that something dangerous is imminent. In reality, its with comic intent. The faint hearted of you lot warned . are more likely to find it mildly unwelcome and annoying than actually dangerous)