IF Tag

Ok its my 199th post here and the Shamefully delicious Puss has tagged me with an 'if' meme. On a totally different tangent though, for my 200th post Im open to suggestions to write about so fire away -if you want me to write about any subject, I shall pick it out of a hat! (after 199 posts Im stumped , what can I say?) Okay heres my meme and you can breathe a sigh of relief that Im not tagging anyone with it such is my forte to do so with memes
The IF meme
If I were a beginning, I would be…Dramatic yet silent.
If I were a month, November My birth month, biting, sharp and dark
If I were a time of day, I would be…the second before and after midnight
If I were a planet, I would be…Saturn for the misty ringed ambience and a stormy spot.
If I were a season, I would be…Late Autumn, Ripe and Smouldering.
If I were a sea animal, I would be…A dolphin possibly because the look like they are having (as father ted would call it) tremendous fun.
If I were a direction, I would be…straight ahead.
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be an ornately carved bed, strong and intricate yet soft and comfortably
If I were a sin, I would be…Lust.
If I were a liquid, I would be…Hot Chocolate, sweet enough to be bad for you.
If I were a scare, I would be…a cold hand grab at the back of the knee.
If I were a gem, I would be…A striking deep red Ruby.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be…Night scented Jasmine, since its nocturnal presence is both enigmatic and alluring
If I were a kind of weather, I would be…an all night storm (read into that what you will)
If I were a musical instrument, I would be…cello soulful and deep
If I were an animal, I would be…Any dog in Gary Larsons world
If I were an emotion, I would be…Love - I have my family to thank for that
If I were a vegetable, I would be…Red pepper - diverse enough to be sweet, but oddly savoury
If I were a sound, I would be…Whisper
If I were an element, I would be…H20 I can run hot and cold at the drop of a hat
If I were a car, I would be…A VW Beetle, an original, a classic, curvey and a little kooky
If I were a song, I would be…most likely annoying.
If I were a food, I would be…comforting and sturdy.
If I were a place, I would be…comfy and warm.
If I were a material, I would be…Dark red chenille
If I were a taste, I would be…Rich and no good for you.
If I were a scent, I would be…Musky and Evocative
If I were a religion, I would be…a melting pot of belief systems
If I were a sentence, I would be…be spoken in the latin tongue
If I were a facial expression, I would be…penetrative
If I were a subject in school, I would be…History
If I were a shape, I would be…an co centric circle.

If I were a colour, I would be: Dark Red.
If I were a thing, I would be…in the marvel comics.
If I were a book, I would be…engaging.
If I were an artist, I would be…Seiperi
If I were a collection of poems, I would be…Ogden Nash.
If I were a landmass, I would be…Scotland.
If I were a watch, I would be…an anitque fob watch.
If I were God, I would be…fair
If I were a vowel, I would be… ‘O’ – so versatile, Oh shit, Oh great, Oh oh oh!.
If I were a consonant, I would be… ‘V’ – Not over used and out there on its own.
If I were a theory, I would be…One of the millions out there
If I were a famous person, I would be… Jane Goldman if only for her body and Locks
If I were an item of electronic equipment, I would be…phone - always on call
If I were a movie, I would be… an epic.
If I were a cartoon, I would be… Sylvester the cat
If I were an explorer, I would be…David Attenborough
If I were a scientist, I would be…Blown to smithereens.
If I were a relation, I would be… Mad eccentric old aunty.
If I were a river, I would be… the nile.
If I were intoxication, I would be…drunk 24/7.
If I were alone, I would be…deliberating
If I were a question, I would be…'Will You?'
If I were a habit, I would be…addictive.
If I were in an atom, I would be…explosive.
If I were you, I would be…wondering on my death bed why you wasted such precious time reading my ramblings